Kindred Spirits
by Misha
Summary: Alex reflects on Meredith.


Kindred Spirits  
By Misha

A.N- This is an Alex piece set in the second season. It's his opinion of Meredith, but it's not really Alex/Meredith, as much as I do love that pairing. This is just friendship based, because I really think Alex understands Meredith better than anyone else and that's where this comes from. Well, that's all for now, enjoy!

Pairings- Minor Meredith/Derek, Alex/Izzie, Alex/Meredith.

Summery- Alex reflects on Meredith.

Rating- PG-13

Spoilers- Up to "What Have I Done to Deserve This".

* * *

_"She seeing anybody? Sheís hot."_

_  
_Alex's first impression of Meredith Grey was basically that she was hot. That didn't surprise him, it tended to be the first thing he noticed about any woman.

He noticed it right away, on that first day. In fact, Alex noticed her before he noticed Izzie Stevens. Oh, he definitely noticed that Stevens was hot, but it was Grey that captured his attention first.

Maybe because he knew her type. He'd dated girls like her a thousand times through college and med school and maybe that was the appeal. He'd always had a thing for the hot, but incredibly messed up chicks and he spotted that in Meredith Grey right from the beginning.

You have enough emotional scars, you learn to be able to recognise them in others. Of course, Alex wouldn't admit all this reasoning to himself, not then.

He just told himself that the only attraction Meredith Grey held for him was her looks.

_"You know, you might want to leave, before I change my mind and let her beat you to a pulp with her tiny, ineffectual fists." _

Alex didn't start to respect Meredith until she pinned him up against a locker. Some part of him knew that he should be embarrassed that a woman her size was able to pin him up against a locker like that, yet it turned him on.

If he'd thought she was attractive before that, then now he was really interested. For weeks after that, Alex fantasised about Meredith Grey pushing him up the wall again, this time in a sexual way. He could definitely see her as the type who wanted to be on top and he found the thought very appealing.

He was pretty sure that if she knew what was going through his mind, she'd punch him, but even that was a turn on. What could he say, he had a thing for women who could shove him around. It was just one more of his many neurosis, he was sure.

_"My father was into smack pretty heavy. He was a musician. It's tolerated in his line of work. Not good for the family at home." _

Alex thought that was one of the reasons he was drawn to Meredith, was that he understood her.

He thought that they probably come from a similar place. Life with his father left him with a lot of hang-ups and emotional scars and he had a feeling that Meredith endured the same.

Ellis Grey might have been a brilliant surgeon, but if Alex was any judge, and he thought he was, she was a crappy mother. Meredith showed all those signs, the signs of someone with a rough childhood and a family life that's nothing to write home about.

You drink, you party, you act like a jerk, just to try and forget the pain. That was Alex's way and it was Meredith's too, as he would learn in time.

It was definitely part of the attraction--one was always drawn to a kindred spirit.

_  
"Save yourself the misery man, she's off the market." _

Alex wasn't a fool like O'Malley. Finding out that Meredith was seeing someone was enough to make him turn his attention otherwise. She was hot and all and she fascinated him, but Alex didn't bother with women who weren't available or weren't interested. 

After all, there were plenty of fish in the sea and plenty of hot women at Seattle Grace. So, he'd move on.

Even if those other women didn't intrigue him quite the way Meredith did, well they could still fill a need. Alex felt a moment of regret when he found out she was dating someone, because he really was fascinated by her, but that happened sometimes.

Besides, Grey was still intriguing, even if he didn't get to get in her pants.

_"Alex, do you care that I was the intern stupid enough to screw the married attending?"_

_  
_Alex didn't think less of Meredith for her relationship with Derek Shepherd. So, she was screwing her boss, so what? She wasn't the first woman to do so.

So, he was married--that was his problem, not hers, especially since "Dr. McDreamy" hadn't bothered to tell her that he was married. He heard the gossip about her and he thought it was harsh.

Especially since it was Meredith who ended up getting hurt in the situation and it wasn't her fault. He knew a lot of people at the hospital held it against her, but he thought the whole lot were a bunch of gossipy old biddys.

It wasn't any of their business who Meredith chose to sleep with, at least that was Alex's opinion. If anything, he thought Shepherd was to blame, he was the married one after all, not Meredith.

_"Iím more afraid she doesnít have cancer."  
"Well. Liver cancerís fast. Painful but its fast and they give you morphine. They donít give you morphine for Alzheimerís."  
"No they donít. (sighs) What kind of person wishes their mother has cancer?"_

_  
_When Ellis was brought in, Alex started to understand Meredith even better. Her mom might have been a hotshot surgeon, but she was also difficult. Alex could read the tension between the Doctors Grey, even though one of them was completely out of it.

When Meredith told him that she hoped her mother had cancer, he understood. In her situation, he'd do the same. Maybe, that didn't make them good people, but it was understandable, none the less.

Alzheimer's wasn't an easy disease and if Meredith's relationship with her mother had already been strained, which Alex would bet good money that it had been, then it would be even harder on her.

So, no, he totally saw where she was coming from, though most people might not. Who knew, maybe they really were kindred spirits.

_"I failed the medical boards. If I tell Izzie sheíll be nice about it and all supportive and optimistic. She might as well rip my nads off and turn them into earrings."_

_  
_It was easier to tell Meredith about failing the boards than it ever would have been to tell Izzie, even though Izzie was the one he was involved with.

He liked Izzie, knew she was special, but he couldn't bring himself to confide in her. No, instead, he told Meredith, maybe because he wasn't involved with her, or maybe because she'd listen without judgement, without making him feel like less of a man.

Maybe, because he sensed that she was familiar with what it was like to fail, to screw up. Or maybe, just because, unlike everyone else, she just really seemed to get him.

He wasn't sure she necessarily liked him, but she understood him and maybe in the end, that was better.

_"Could you be any more patronising? I didnít ask for your help."  
"Enough with the ego! You big baby! I gave up a surgery for this!"_

Alex couldn't believe it when Meredith passed up a surgery to help him pass his boards. Especially after what he did to Izzie.

Yet, there she was, prepared to help him. Yes, she got the rest of her band of merry men to help out, but he knew it was mostly her.

There was something in Meredith that made her want to help people. She wasn't sweetly good like Izzie, who just wanted to help everyone and who was sugary sweet and nice all the time. Meredith was bitchy and at an edge, but genuinely good and nice on the inside.

It was a combination he found more interesting, when it really came down to it. Part of him thought that Izzie might be _too_ nice for him, but Meredith...

No, there was something about her that he could really relate to. Maybe she felt it too and maybe that was why she wanted to help. Who knew?

_"10 bucks says OíMalley caught her doing Mark Sloane."  
"Thereís something going on. I mean look at them."  
"Alright he walked in on her doing Mc Dreamy."_

As much as he had a deep affection for Meredith, Alex still got a lot of amusement out of watching the destructive mess that was her life.

Meredith was a great girl, but she had a terrible way of dealing things. She was also hot, which in a lot of made it worse, because it brought a lot of guys to her door, very few of them good for her.

Shepherd had broken her and yet, there he was, still hanging around, giving her his "McDreamy" gaze and Alex knew that eventually Meredith would crumble and feel all the worse for it.

So, he had almost hoped that she had slept with Sloane, because at least it might make Shepherd go away and maybe Meredith could put herself back together, properly.

Not that Alex would ever voice that opinion, then it might look like he actually cared, and he couldn't have that, but he thought it. He thought a lot of things.

_"What happened with you and OíMalley?"  
"Nothing."  
"Well whatever it is Iíve done worse." _

The source of the bond between Alex and Meredith, such as it was, was the fact that they were both emotional screw-ups. 

Yang wasn't much better, but she dealt with her issues by keeping it all in and being a cold bitch, Alex and Meredith both externalised.

They both did a lot of stupid things and maybe that was why they were able to relate to one another. Alex never judged Meredith, because deep down, he was just like her.

Hell, in a lot of ways, he was worse.

_  
"Because when your life is sucking, you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. Itís your thing. Whatever. I find it charming."_

Meredith Grey did the drunken sex thing. Everyone at Seattle Grace knew that--after all she had picked up her boss in a bar, right? And it only went from there.

Alex heard the gossip, knew what a lot of people thought of her for it, but it didn't bother him. He didn't think it was healthy, but he also knew there were a lot worse things he could be doing.

Grey had Daddy issues, any moron could see that, though he wasn't sure what the story was and she had a lot of men issues, only made worse by the way Shepherd had treated her and if this was how she managed to cope day to day, so be it.

Alex would even confess that a part of him was a little sad that he had never managed to pass through Meredith's bed, but he knew it was for the best. Their relationship worked because it was what it was and sex would screw that up and, though he'd never admit it out loud, Alex didn't want that.

In Meredith Grey he had found a kindred spirit and that was rare. So, he would never sleep with Meredith, but sometimes he did think about it. 

He was only human after all.

- The End


End file.
